Dyslexia, Openness, and Creating Change

You might have noticed that I am VERY open about being dyslexic...I have a website, YouTube Channel, Facebook page, and twitter account, which are about dyslexia. I've edited a book full of the work of dyslexic authors, including a poem by Sally Gardner, and I regularly review audiobooks for The Codpast, a dyslexic-centric podcast. I'm leaving some pretty big internet footprints, including on LinkedIn, so it's tied to my professional life, as well.

I wasn't always this open about it, and willing to let the world know that dyslexia is a part of who I am. There is still a lot of stigma and misunderstanding about dyslexia, concerns about what peers, or employers might think. In my teens I was really worried about other students finding out I was dyslexic and saying insensitive things about it. I wanted to be like everyone else, and to just blend in.

Gradually, I began to feel more confident in myself, and I wanted to find out more about how my dyslexia affected me, and what I could do to help myself deal with my difficulties. I read my first dyslexia assessment, and looked up information online, I bought books recommended by the educational psychologist I had seen. I was really shocked to find despite increased awareness about dyslexia that large numbers of dyslexic people were still ending up in the prison system, it wasn't a mandatory part of teacher training, and if you didn't have a parent who was informed enough to fight for your right to an education, you were unlikely to get any support at all.

There are huge injustices related to dyslexia, and what are relatively minor difficulties and differences. That these remain is due to a lack of willingness to make relatively minor changes to the education system, and to an unwillingness within society to fully come to terms with what dyslexia means for real people, because it challenges preconceptions about the nature of intelligence.

Me, as a little girl in my school uniform.
I used to be embarrassed by my front teeth,
so I used to try to hide them when I smiled.

People acted like they couldn't see us, and issues affecting us and our families were not priorities. I wanted to be seen, listened to. I didn't want any other child to have the negative school experiences I did growing up. When I was very little I used to wonder why with so many influential and successful dyslexics children like me were still not being properly supported, suffering emotionally, as well as not being properly educated. I used to wonder why those celebrities weren't doing more, weren't screaming about what a travesty it was on the television, or doing anything visible to me to change things. I decided if I ever got any sort of influence or did well I was going to do whatever I could to make things better. I wanted to be part of the solution.

Getting older, I realised it was unlikely I'd ever be a big house hold name, and I can't say it's something I aspire to, but I could still take steps towards making things better for others like myself, and for future generations. I became a member of the BDA, although none of the information I received seemed geared towards me (a 17 year old dyslexic), but mainly for parents of little kids, or professionals working in the industry, I wanted to support what they were doing. I volunteered to support kids with special needs as a mentor at my school, and later I began trying to support people via the being dyslexic forums, where I am now a moderator. I did this in my free time all through University.

The lack of provision or conversation about dyslexic teenagers and adults troubled me. I came up with the idea for some sort of online magazine for teens, or students. Over time this idea developed into Dysbooks, as I realised there was also support missing regarding helping dyslexic people enjoy literature, yet a glut of organisations and individuals selling support with acquiring literacy - No one was following through to the next stage, as if once we could read, that was the end of the story. There was very little celebrating achievements with literature, and little supporting parents, or teacher regarding the best books for them, or for dyslexic kids. Being a dyslexic bookworm with an English degree, and working at the time as a Bookseller, I felt I was well placed to produce much needed information, and to highlight great information or projects by others in one place.

I decided in my daily life, while I wasn't going to pin a badge to my chest and declare it to everyone I met, I was not going to keep dyslexia my dirty little secret, or cover up the work I was doing trying to help dyslexic people, as if it was shameful, or should reflect on me badly. If I didn't want it to feel shameful, and for people to know what dyslexia and dyslexics were really like, then I decided it would take lots of ordinary dyslexic people like me, as well as celebrities, being brave enough to come out as dyslexic. To be totally open and unapologetic about who we are, and to expect to be treated with respect, and equality.

It is very much a personal choice to disclose, and I fully respect other people's decision regarding disclosure.  However, this is why I have made this choice, this is why I don't pretend to be something I am not, I don't stay quite, or cover my tracks in case potential employers or others find out. It might not always be easy while ignorance and negative sentiment still exists, but it's not going to change unless people like me do something about it, and demand that change.

I am open about my dyslexia so other people can be. I want to create the change I believe in.

Old Currents and the Dark Waters I know too Well

I don't even recall how long ago it was I filmed the first Dysbooks Youtube reviews, around November I think. I could look it up using the blog but I don't really want to know. I feel like I should be releasing stuff far more often, but there's something so daunting about making it public, ME public.

It's different with writing, longer stuff or on twitter. I'm still an unseen thing behind the screen. Being filmed is different, being seen and having people hear my voice...although I suppose people can hear me via The Codpast audiobook reviews I do...I'm working on building up some more now, choosing which books to use together. I always try to find a good contrast and make sure it's not the same thing all the time, though I'm sure my tastes will come through anyway. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.

But that's not why the YouTube reviews are only just starting to go up (I've only uploaded one of the two so far, as of me writing this, the one I thought I sounded best in as it was recorded second, after I got used to the camera). It's because when I first played back the edited versions (thank you Laura, you're amazing) the sound was entirely out of sink with the footage. It was fine for Laura, who did the filming, but the computer I tried to play it on, no matter how I tried to view the content, didn't work. We couldn't understand why it wasn't working.

Laura eventually burnt me a DVD, it still didn't work, so she suggested she upload them to YouTube for me to see if that made a difference. I don't know quite why, but I gave it a go myself, and the uploaded version worked perfectly. The only thing I had to worry about was when and what order to release them in, and the feeling of vulnerability that went with deciding I was going to do it.

I sent links to a few people I trusted, first, and showed my boyfriend. Despite telling me 'I don't do feedback,' he said on the first review, one of The Bullet-Catcher's Daughter by Rod Duncan, I made way too many pauses, and sometimes looked like I was reading off the back of the book. I bristled at this initially, because I already felt worried about these details. Really, I was after reassurance, I wanted him to say it was just great, and he loved it. I thought about it before saying anything, because  I knew my reaction was learnt defensiveness. I've spent so long having to been my own cheerleader and refusing to let any criticism settle, because I had to in order to keep my sense of worth.

I think when you are trying to create something, honesty is a lot more helpful than the praise given because of your relationship to others. I knew he was right, even if the pauses and my general air of discomfort was to do with how aware I was that I was being filmed, that people would be watching me back. Having my own criticisms confirmed means I know I'm judging things fairly, not with too harsh or too generous an eye. I tend to swing between these two states with my creations, from blind love to seeing flaws that might not be noticeable to anyone else, obsessing over the placement of commas, constantly erasing and re-drawing lines. I was able to say thank you and to put what he said into context, even as the words stung and vibrated through me. I  knew I was just going to have to learn to deal with it, and I am getting better at it. After that initial reaction to argue back, in my head or out loud, I can take it in calmly, sifting through peoples words, holding them up against the facts and my own instincts...it's not like I'm great with compliments either, there's always a sense of mistrust. I'm still learning to take them at face value, and to just say thank you.

 Besides, other people said plenty of positive things, I made my comparisons, and saw many of those good qualities in the reviews, too. It's hard, but I think I have to listen when I ask these things, or why bother? I just...have to try and find the balance myself, keep hold of the stuff that's helpful and try to disregard the stuff that isn't. - Oh, if it were that easy, and inside I was less raw. Part of me still craves that recognition I never got as a kid, and is scared of being found wanting, as much as I try to tell myself I don't need applause. That I am enough in myself, and as long as I know this, other people's views don't matter. It's human to want to belong, to be wanted, to be seen, that's the trouble. I craved it even when I used to pull away from others by choice, scared of being rejected once again. Comforting myself by say I was amazing, I was better, and those 'norms' just didn't appreciate my gifts...Yeah, to do that I'd have to give them a chance to get to know me. I could always feel the fear of mediocrity pulling at me underneath, a strong, inky, current tugging at my chest,

I spent so much time worrying about actually being 'watched' by the unforgiving camera that I struggled to say what I wanted to, at least as fluently as I'd have liked.
 Every pause felt like an eternity. 

While it's leaves a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, to release something so imperfect into the world, I'm going to do it anyway. Sometimes you have to take those sort of risks and put yourself out there, and just try and learn from it for next time...even if next time it's a different medium. There's always an opportunity to apply knowledge from one area of life to another...More than that, I don't want to be so scared of my imperfections, or those in what I create, that I never end up putting anything out there...I keep telling myself 'at least you gave it a go, a lot of people wouldn't even do that, and it's your first try. Who get's anything perfect on the first try, who gets things perfect ever? This is an opportunity to learn, and grow, and really, you are meant to be doing this to help people...It's not really about you. It's about doing your best to give people information they are looking for, or didn't know they needed, a chance to connect to something you love so desperately.'

90 people have viewed the first uploaded YouTube video. I was aiming for 50, so that's good, right? I've got emails about it and what I am doing, messages elsewhere on the internet trail I've been rolling out behind me, even as I wonder if it's really such a great idea. Facts to hold onto, when the tide changes, and doubt rolls in.

Sarah's first Youtube Review is of Books About Dyslexia for Parents. 

Hibernation, fresh starts, and all the things I owe...

I feel like I have been off my usual social media and blogging, having disappeared into the fog of my offline life for...a lot longer than it has actually been.

I feel like I have been hiding, or in hibernation...But, hey, I'm back, nice to be writing for you all (whoever you might be, do say hi) once more.

I've needed some time to recover from The Dyslexics in the Bookshop Event (which went really well), and I have had a lot of things I have needed to attend to. The biggest thing being that my best friend has been going through a horrible time, which I won't go into detail about because it's her personal stuff, but, I dropped a lot of things to be there for her. Oh, and I had flu, so I slept on our sofa bed a lot due to my awful snoring, and I spent half of one day just laying on my bathroom floor on a pile of towels, while the cat meowed at me to get up and give her some love, or food, or something.

It's a hard life.

If you somehow haven't noticed, it's also peek trading time, and I work in retail. Well, I did work in retail. One of the things I was doing during my long silence was quitting my job. I am no longer a Bookseller, which is actually really freeing. I was in that job for five years, and it was good to me in a lot of ways, but it was time to go. I walked down to the train station that last time, in the dark, under the Christmas lights of this boutiquey side road. I stopped for a moment, because those lights were exciting and magical. I breathed in the tingling cold, and felt like this tight binding I hadn't known I was wearing was unraveling behind me. When I started walking again I imagined it as an unfurling red ribbon, unraveling more and more with each step from around my body, until it blew away entirely, swirling into the night.

I feel really relaxed, and free, and my house is really tidy, which hardly ever happens, and then not for very long because, you know, I'm dyslexic. I feel dyslexia and mess, or at least creative clutter go together - but I've hit that mystical point where it's tidy, and clean, but where I can still find all my stuff. My house also smells like this amazing strawberry spray, that doesn't really smell anything like strawberries, but still somehow smells fresh, and sweet, and delicious.

okay, there are still a lot of books, everywhere, but is that honestly such a bad thing?

Because I'm not working at the bookshop doing the usual overtime, where I spend most of what would be left over after bills and food on the extra travel, and then presents, and am totally broke until January when I get a sudden influx of funds...I have a bit of actual money this Christmas. I can see my friends, and my family, and do Fun Stuff.

I feel good about me, and my life as it is, and as it might be. I don't often get that all at once so I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

I am not completely unemployed as I am working two days a week at an internship, so there's still some structure to my days, and leaving my other job isn't as scary. I will still have money coming in, but I am looking for something else, something full time and more permanent. If you know of something or someone who is hiring then it would be great if you could let me know. I've no set idea about what I'm looking for, but creativity, books/writing, marketing, and causes are where my interest and skills generally lay.

I have a lot of decisions to make, like if I am actually going to take the huge step (or so it feels) of applying to drama schools, or if I just want a Career, career of the sort my parents wanted for me, and to do my own creative stuff on the side...writing, drama group, dyslexia stuff...whatever, which is kind of what I have been doing, accept my parents never thought of Bookselling as a career.

Me, acting, via the talented Mike Cartwright

One of the nicest things about leaving my job is that someone who came to my dyslexia event applied for a job at the bookshop, my job really, and I think they are being taken on. They are a dyslexic young woman, so there's this great sense of something beginning within that ending, for someone else. I hope they get the position and enjoy it as much as I did, when I was new there, with no idea what I was doing.

I still don't know what I am doing, not exactly, but I'm more okay with that now. I'm not trying to find out as aggressively, I'm letting myself explore, just in case there is something even more wonderful and exciting out there, in the world.

I still owe you all a blog about the event, ahhhh...I owe audiobook reviews, and filmed reviews, and all sorts of things, but I am getting back to work on it all. I just needed some time to breath and figure some things out. 

Dyslexia Awareness Week

It's here, Dyslexia Awareness Week starts today, Monday 3rd November, and will end Sunday 9th November.

This years theme, according to the BDA (British Dyslexia Association) and Dyslexia Action, is 'Dyslexia Matters.' The charities both want you to tell them, and the wider world, why dyslexia matters...to you, and in general.

There will be lots of events going on to boost awareness, not just about the existence of dyslexia, but about what it actually means to real people. I've done my best to collect as many of these events as I can find together for this blog, to make it easier for people to look up what is going on.

If you have an event or know of one I haven't listened, then get in touch and I'll include it.

Putting events on the list doesn't mean I endorse them, or have involvement with them, I'm just sharing what is happening. The information here is correct to the best of my knowledge (do tell me if it isn't), but responsibility ultimately lies with the event organisers as I'm just taking the information they've put online themselves and reproducing it here...Now that min-disclaimer is out of the way, I give you, The List.

Click the links for more information.


Monday November 3rd

London, England:

Technology for Dyslexia - 2.00pm-4.00pm
A free workshop about the best technology to address common dyslexic difficulties.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Understanding Dyslexia, with Dr David McLoughlin - 6.30pm-8.30pm
A free seminar about the nature of dyslexia by dyslexia expert Dr David McLoughlin.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Staffordshire, England:

Exhibition - Start and End Time Not Listed.
A exhibition of the talents and creations of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

Perth and Kinross, Scotland:

Dyslexia Scotland Talk - 7.00pm
Fran Ranaldi, Perth and Kinross Counsel, will be talking about Education Scotland's 'Making Sense: education for children and young people with dyslexia in Scotland,' report.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland


Tuesday November 4th 

Bath, England:

Open Morning - 9.30am-11.30pm
Dyslexia Action Bath will be hosting an open morning and discussions with the center principle.
Information via Dyslexia Action

London, England:

Dyslexia and Entrepreneurship - 12.00pm-5.00pm
A free event about entrepreneurship with the BDA and mentoring charity Good Story.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Staffordshire, England:

Exhibition - Start and End Time Not Listed.
A exhibition of the talents and creations of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

Glasgow, Scotland:

What is Meares-Irlen talk - 7.15pm
A talk about the nature of Meares-Irlen Syndrome.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland

Lanarkshire, Scotland:

Dyslexia Scotland Planning Meeting - 7.30pm
Comment on how you think Dyslexia Scotland should address future strategic planning.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland

Lochaber, Scotland:

'Dyslexia Matters' Discussion - 7.00pm
Discuss why 'Dyslexia Matters,' and the support available from Dyslexia Scotland's Lochaber branch.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland


Wednesday November 5th 

London, England:

Arts and Literacy - 12.00pm-5.00pm
A free workshop featuring dyslexic artists and their work, in collaboration with the BDA.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Competition Showcase - 6.30pm-8.45pm
See the shortlisted entries for The BDA annual Dyslexia Awareness Week completions for artists, inventors, and writers. The winners will be announced at the showcase.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Staffordshire, England:

Exhibition - Start and End Time Not Listed.
A exhibition of the talents and creations of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

West Lothain, Scotland:

Dyslexic Adults Event - 7.00pm
An event focusing on dyslexic adults.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland.


Thursday November 6th 

London, England:

Enabling Children with Dyslexia to Succeed - 11.00am-12.00pm
A free workshop in collaboration with Dyslexia SpLD Trust which will provide information on supporting dyslexic children for parents, and educators.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Dyslexia at Work -2.00pm-4.00pm
A free workshop for dyslexic people employed outside of large office based corporations, about the sort of support available, and dyslexia friendly employers.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Authors Evening - 6.00pm-8.00pm
A BDA and Bloomsbury Institute event featuring award winning dyslexic writer Sally Gardener and children's author and illustrator Tom Mclaughlin. They will be giving readings and taking part in a Q and A session. They will discuss possitive aspects of dyslexia, and it's impact on their work.
This is a charged event, tickets required.
Information via The BDA.

Essex, England:

What is Dyslexia? - 7.30pm
Presentation and video screening. There will be a small charge for this event. Refreshments included.
Information via Essex Dyslexia Support Group

Staffordshire, England:

Exhibition - Start and End Time Not Listed.
A exhibition of the talents and creations of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

Tonbridge, England:

Awareness Evening - 7.00pm-9.00pm
Free advice and information about dyslexia from Dyslexia Action Tonbridge.
Information via Dyslexia Action

Borders, Scotland:

Dyslexia and Education - 7.00pm
I'm assuming this is some sort of talk, but it's not clear what exactly this is, only that there will be updates of some sort on dyslexia and education, on both a national and local level.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland.

Forth Valley, Scotland:

Dyslexia Friendly Schools - 7.00pm
A talk by Margret Crankshaw.
Information vis Dyslexia Scotland.

Glasgow, Scotland:

Paul McNeil of Scottish Association Football - 7.00pm
Paul McNeil of Scottish Association Football will be doing or saying something. It is unclear exactly what the nature of the event will be, but he will be there.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland

West Lothain, Scotland:

Comic Drawing Talk and Workshop - 6.00pm
Malcy Duff will be talking about his work as a comic book illustrator and will be offering the chance to create your own artwork.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland.



Friday November 7th

Online:

Live Social Media Chat - No Start or End Time Listed
Talk with The BDA National Helpline Manager about dyslexia, and ask them your questions.
Information via The BDA

London, England:

Coffee Morning - 10.00am-12.00pm
A relaxed morning with refreshments, and an arts table for children.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of Bexley, Bromley, Greenwich and Lewisham.

Technology for Dyslexia - 12.00pm-2.00pm
A free workshop about the best technology to address common dyslexic difficulties.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Dyslexia Behind Bars - 2.00pm -4.15pm
Free seminar from The Cascade Foundation, who work with dyslexia offenders. The seminar will focus on dyslexia in prison and the work they are doing to tackle this, and to prevent re-offending via appropriate education and support. Dyslexic ex-offenders will be talking at the seminar.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London

Reception and Celebration - 5.30pm-7.30pm
Celebrate the re-launch of The Dyslexia Association of London, and the events they have been involved with this year for Dyslexia Awareness Week.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Staffordshire, England:

Exhibition - Start and End Time Not Listed.
A exhibition of the talents and creations of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

Variety Show - 7.00pm
A celebration of the  talents of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

West Lothan, Scotland:

Dyslexia Cafe - 2.00pm
The launch of a regular drop in event.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland


Saturday November 8th

London, England:

The International Festival of Dyslexic Culture - 9.30am-5.00pm
A festival celebrating dyslexic creativity and achievements.
Information via The International Festival of Dyslexic Culture.

Essex, England:

Children and Parents Dyslexia Event -10.00am-12.00pm
An event for dyslexic children and their parents involving information about positive aspects of dyslexia, information about famous dyslexics, and an art competition.
Information via Essex Dyslexia Support Group

Dyslexia Awareness Event -12.00pm-2.00pm
A children's dyslexia awareness event with a coloring competition and a give away.
Author J.D Irwin will be attending.
Information via Frog and Chicken Bookshop


Sunday November 9th

Essex, England:

Dyslexics in the Bookshop - 4.30pm-6.00pm
Dyslexic writers will be invading Waterstones Brentwood for talks about dyslexia and writing, board games, refreshments, a prize draw to win some brilliant books, and a Victorian photobooth. The event is suitable for all ages, and you don't have to be dyslexic to come. Victorian attire encouraged, but not mandatory. The event is free to attend.
Information via Dysbooks (aka me; this is my event, you should come)

You can find out more about my event here. If you have an event you'd like me to add then please let me know. 

The Gothic Imagination

I have an amazing best friend who decided to whisk me off to The British Library today to see the exhibition  Terror and Wonder: The Gothic Imagination.

 Dracula, you seductive, beckoning rouge, you.
Also, really need to find the belt that goes with this coat.

Oh, and for the shop, she was very keen on visiting the gift shop. There were moments where I wondered if she was more interested in this than the actual exhibition items. Myself, I could not stop smiling like a child at Disneyland.

I can't say I was terrified, but I did feel the wonder.

Genuine, Victorian, vampire, slaying, kit. 

While I definitely have known for a long time that I like gothic literature and film I didn't realise quite how much until today. It was a bit like a tour of my dream book collection, and I owned or had read (I'm including audiobooks) a great deal of the books on show. Others, I was aware of from my degree, I had written essays on these books...and the illustrations...the play posters, the clip of Neil Gaiman which I pointed out and was told by my friend, immediately;

'Will you stop talking about Neil Gaiman.'

'But, but I love Neil Gaiman.'

'You do not love Neil Gaiman, you have never met Neil Gaiman.'

'I love his books.'

Which to me, might as well be the same thing.

I might have done a bit of a dance when I saw these and A Series of Unfortunate Events in the same display cabinet, which is a bit strange, as I don't do this when I see them together on my bookshelves. 

I was the only person taking photographs, I checked very carefully for signs which might forbid this, but there were no signs. I'm just a huge book geek.

Okay, so more than just a book geek, there were film posters, too. I spent a lot of my childhood watching black and white monster movies. I have a deep appreciation for Hammer Horror, and women in white nightdresses running screaming into the night, for all my beliefs in feminism. When first getting to know with my best friend I explained how as a child I wanted to be Claudette from the film An Interview with the Vampire, or Wednesday Adams (who I dressed as a few times for Halloween). One of the reasons we are such good friends is that she did not find this odd.

My cousins and I used to come up with plays based on horror and scifi movies. Often, they'd involve werewolves. My cousin Bryony was big on werewolves, and had an imaginary friend who was one, and who lived in her wardrobe, and under her bed (he eat the unfriendly monsters). Like me, she is dyslexic, and we'd force our creative vision for a werewolf musical onto our non-dyslexic siblings.

The Book of Werewolves

I recall making an old tissue box into a werewolf muzzel for Bryony to wear when she transformed, or when my grandmother's dog was not up to the challenge of a dance number. Heather, the youngest, who I am sure didn't understand what was going on, used to dress up in my grandmother's old white nightdress, cover her face in her old lipstick (because she was too young to be able to just put in on her lips), and then Bryony and I would say she had to put ketchup on her hands and rub them on my grandparent's summer house, which she was hesitant to do, even though it was for art.

Eventually, I saved up for a video camera, and we started playing games were we ran a film company, called, 'Me, Bryony, Heather, and You,' the you being my brother Alex, and the me being, well, me.

We made our own posters, wrote scripts (which we never followed), designed costumes (that we couldn't make), and had a wonderful time running about in the local woods, screaming and giggling.

Bryony said she wanted to be a horror movie director when she grew up, I wanted to write books were terrible, supernatural things, happened.

I'm the one at the back, with the stick.

Sadly, the only surviving relics of our exploits are from our radio wing (we decided to try to record a fake radio show so convincing we could put it on and our parents would think it was real. - It didn't work, although it does include Heather discribing a make up you rub on both your face and arms, after screaming she was old enough to make up a commercial), and the unfinished future cult classic, Killer Pound Monster; which my dvd cover tells me is 'never coming to a cinema near you,' and that it is the winner of  9 'acedemie' awards.

All the film posters brought back the most wonderful memories of these times together, as well as with my mother.

So many incredible things are happening in this poster.

My mother's bedtime stories were often re-tellings of films based on Stephen King novels.

My favorite bed time reads to listen to were the origional Brother's Grimm and Hans Christan Anderson tales, which other students in my Victorian literature module at university found quite strange, especially when I said, 'when I was young the original Little Mermaid was my favorite, where she feels knives in her feet when she walks and commits suicide at the end, but it's sort of a happy ending because she doesn't murder anyone, and God grants her a soul.'

Let's not get into The Book of Gypsy Folk Tales, where there are devils living in trees, and werewolf princesses (arguably, the best sort of princess).

I love everything about this poster, especially that my guide to the exhibit opens out into it.

Perhaps I sound quite ghoulish, but this background in gothic stories, horror, scifi, fantasy...they have made me who I am, and I rather like who I am. They are part of why I love books so much, stories, generally.

To this day, the greatest peice of writing criticism/praise I have ever had is from an ex-creative writing tutor who said;

'You don't read Stephen King do you? Because you write a lot like him.'

She was relived when I said I had not. I had been forbidden to read his books, once I learnt to read and I was reading everything I could find. My mother only read books by Stephen King and regency romances. I was banned from reading his books because of the swearing, I knew most of the plots.

I didn't tell her that.

If you are after some dark and delightful reads for Halloween my recommended audiobooks for October are out via The Codpast, in both audio and written form.

Terror and Wonder; The Gothic Imagination will run until 20th Jan 2015, at The British Library. 

The Codpast Reviews

In addition to the dyslexia event I have been working on (and that I have been losing sleep over - what if not enough people come, or more people than I thought? What if I let everyone down? I must take more caffeine and manically publicize it EVERYWHERE, I must list all the places where I am doing this, oh I really do need to sleep, it's happening and I can't help it), I've been writing some reviews for a dyslexia podcast, called The Codpast.

The Codpast has a blog, too, and it's really inspiring. When I heard about it I had to ask if I could get involved. It seemed super creative and talented Sean Douglas, who is The Codpast's chief dyslexic, had a similar idea. We began hatching a plan to come up with something I could do to add to the Codpast, while also contributing to my goal of doing things for dyslexics involving literacy.

We came up with these reviews. They are a bit different to what I'd normally do as they are specifically for audiobooks, but still with a dyslexic focus. Oh, and I have recorded myself saying them.

This, was not as easy as I originally planned.

I was going to just write a blog, but I thought with modern technology, (specifically the free audio recording and editing program Audacity), I could arrange it so the reviews were recorded. I thought this would be great, as they were for people who liked taking information in via listening instead of reading words off a page.

I'd used Audacity to record audio to add audio to the Dysbooks website (which desperately needs updating, oh where does all my time go, or right, on things like this blog), this worked fine. I'd also listened to my boyfriend record loads of things using it. I thought it'd be quick and easy.

And so the battle between myself and my boyfriend's laptop began. I couldn't use mine because I don't have the right ports for the headset I was using. His laptop is old, but it is compatible, however, the age of the laptop might have been the key issue. I couldn't get the program to open, then to record properly, initially at all, and then I couldn't get it to stop. There was a point where the laptop just blue screened, and I lost everything I had been working on.

Yet, I believed in my goal. I finally got a full recording, saved it, and got it sent off to Sean. He did some magical things with it and sent me back an edited version, complete with music, and other much needed embellishments. However, the audio quality of the mic I'd used wasn't great, to put it mildly. This became really apparent when edited together with cleaner and sharper audio.

Human, what are you doing? 

Sean asked me about how I had recorded the reviews, and made a suggestion; That I record the audio using my phone while under a duvet. That was what I did, much to the bemusement of my cat, who didn't seem to understand why I was saying the same thing in as close to the same way as possible over and over into my phone, while apparently hiding under the bedclothes.

It was hard to listen to the audio on my phone so I sent copies to my laptop. Which was when I discovered that while they were much clearer and crisper then the other recordings there was electronic interference in all of them from some unknown device.

This time I have had a go at editing together two different audio files using Audacity on my laptop, and sent them off to Sean, I am hoping I have finally, finally got something that will be suitable for The Codpast.

Phew...this reviewing thing is hard work.

If you haven't already, follow The Codpast on twitter and like it on facebook, you wont be disappointed. 

Dyslexics in the Bookshop

Okay, so I was trying to hold off telling everyone about this until I was able to get a blog up, but I just couldn't help myself. If you follow dysbooks on facebook or twitter, chances are you'll already be aware of what I have planned.

Essentially, it's a party in a bookshop, tied into Dyslexia Awareness Week. - This is what it sounds like, a week were people involved with dyslexia try to spread more accurate information and awareness about what dyslexia actually is, and how it affects real people. It runs from the 3rd November to the 9th November.

It's pretty cool, and there are lots of great events planned for this year. I'm going to make a list of events to share with everyone about all the great things everyone has scheduled, so do let me know if you have an event of your own you'd like me to include.

For now, though, a bit about mine, and how I ended up deciding to put something together.

This November a book I have helped to edit for specialist publisher RASP is coming out. It's an anthology of writing by dyslexic authors. One of my short stories will be in it. This, is super exciting. It will be launched on Saturday 8th November at The International Festival of Dyslexic Culture. However, I can't make it, which is a huge shame as I'd love to be there and to have the chance to congratulate the other authors, and everyone else involved in the book's creation.

I've also wanted to meet dyslexic author Rod Duncan for years. I've only ever communicated with him via the internet, but he's a very nice chap and I consider him a friend. He even helped me out with issues I had when studying at University, where he very kindly looked over a piece of work my tutor had termed 'ungradable,' and gave some invaluable feedback (it turned out it could, in fact, be graded and I ended up doing quite well). I think this is a remarkable thing for a professional writer to offer to do, although please don't now go flooding Rod with requests for help with your work. He's busy writing the next book in a series I am reading, and I'd rather he wasn't too distracted from writing it; Otherwise, I might have to wait longer to get a copy.

His latest book, The Bullet-Catcher's Daughter came out not that long ago, and not only is it a great read, I think it has a fabulous cover, which perfectly reflects the book itself (this is one of the books featured in dysbooks soon-to-be-uploaded video reviews).

He's actually in my part of the country for the weekend part of  Dyslexia Awareness Week, and I said if he was ever down my way I'd see if I could do an event for him in the little bookshop I work at.

It all just seemed to fit together perfectly.

I couldn't find anything linked to Dyslexia Awareness Week scheduled for Sunday 9th November, and Sundays tend to be great days to pitch events to the bookshop I work at, as Sundays tend to be a bit quieter, so staff have more time to focus on this sort of thing without it causing disruption to the day to day operations of the store.

I began getting some ideas together for other fun things to tie into the event, and had loads of offers of support and helpful comments as I mentioned my idea to people. One person I spoke to about it told me they had a dyslexic niece, which I had never known before, and they said they thought a celebration like the one I had planned, in a bookshop, with dyslexic writers, sounded incredibly powerful. They said there was something about dyslexics being together in a bookshop, publicly talking about success related to literacy, that really challenged stigma and misinformation, and that could provide hope and inspiration to others.

I thought about my childhood self, and my teenage self, and the adult me, what attending an event like this would have meant at these different points in my life.

Yeah, I thought, yeah, that's what I want this event to do. I want this to be a fun, and really inclusive event, a general celebration of dyslexics who write, for fun or professionally, where kids with dyslexia and their parents can come along, and stand side to side with dyslexic adults, and non-dyslexics, too. One of the things I wrote in my 'Editor's Note' for the anthology was about how dyslexic people didn't have many platforms to use to tell their stories, and I hope this event will be another platform. It's not about preaching, not at all, it's about sharing something of value with others, perhaps those who need it most.

I hope to see you there, and to share my story with you. To celebrate breaking down barriers to mutual understanding, and to provide something different for people to enjoy, and think about.

You can find out more about the Dyslexics in the Bookshop event and register you attendance here.