Dyslexia and Mums

It's not easy being a mum, but when your child is struggling at school it is even more difficult. Mums often take the brunt of the emotional issues this can cause for their children, and the worry about their future. That isn't to say that dads aren't important too, and there are many dads who take a very active roles in their children's school lives, but today is Mother's Day, so I'm going to be focusing on mums.

My mum was the driving force behind my academic successes. Without her and my maternal grandmother, I honestly do not know where I would be now. Today I read The King of Space and The Mummy Shop to a group of young children at the bookshop where I work when not focusing on my writing, or on trying to help people who have learning differences, and those who support them.  I helped the children draw Mumbots, like those in one of the books, and helped them write down the best things about their mums underneath their pictures. I got to tell a mother and her dyslexic daughter that I am dyslexic, and I have a degree in English and Creative Writing, and where they could go to get help with testing for colored lenses. I can't express how much I love doing all these things, and to be unable to is almost unthinkable, yet there was a time when none of this seemed possible.  My mother was told I would struggle with Secondary School, University wasn't even contemplated, and no one had any idea what sort of job I could do.

Me and my mum, just look at those battle weary eyes. Bringing me up was not easy, and not just because of my dyslexia!  (shhh...mum, you look fine, not sure about my hair, though).

I remember the surprise and joy when I got my AS results in Six Form. My mum said that was when she realised that I could actually go to University, that all the effort and tears had been worth it. I felt rather affronted, as I never doubted I would go. My mum had always told me to just do my best, and she would sort everything else out with whatever school I was at, and I knew my best was better than most people expected, especially my teachers. I remember my mum crying when I got my GCSE results, because I got two As for English, and my grandmother who had taken me to my dyslexia tuition twice a week, and retrained as a special needs teacher to support me and my dyslexic cousin, had passed away just before my exams.

I remember my mum pulling me out from under the bed so I would go to school, all the nights she stayed up late writing letters, and acting as a scribe for me so I could complete my school projects by the same deadlines as everyone else. I remember her driving to my school in her lunch break in the response to a panicked phone call saying I had forgotten my PE kit, AGAIN, and might get detention this time...

It didn't sink in until I graduated how much my mother and grandmother had done for me. It's not that I wasn't grateful when they were supporting me through school, it's just that moment really brought it home. Yes, I had earned my degree through my hard work and dedication, but there had been a team of people behind me, ready to catch me when I tripped, to fight my corner when it needed fighting, and who gave me the strength to fight for myself. I almost felt like I needed to give a speech, as though I was accepting an Oscar, it just felt right that I should be thanking all the people who helped me get to that point, my voice breaking with emotion as I finally turned towards my mother, a knowing smile on my face...saying more than words ever could about what she'd been through. We had to settle for a hug afterwards.

I want my gift to mothers this Mother's Day to be the knowledge things do get better. There can be some very hard times when trying to support your dyslexic child, it can be a shock that more is not automatically done for children who learn differently, and there can be the fear for your child's future battling with reassurances  from your child's teacher that 'sometimes children just take a bit longer to catch up' or the fear of being a pushy parent. If this is you, remember, you know your child better than anyone. Listen to your gut feeling, and don't be afraid to look for support, there is lots of it out there, you just need to look in the right places, and ask the right questions.

Here are some resources for mums who want to help their dyslexic children:

www.beingdyslexic.co.uk - a great place to get support from other parents, professionals, and adult dyslexics. I post here regularly as BubblewrapPrincess.

www.dysbooks.com/Pages/LearningDifficultiesReadingList.aspx - some of the books I recommend to parents of dyslexics, or those wondering if their child has a learning difference. The survival guide is especially helpful.

www.dysbooks.com/Pages/ChildrensBooks.aspx - a guide I have written on finding books suitable for dyslexic readers, with links to great resources to help find books dyslexic children can both read and enjoy.

www.totko.org - an organisation I volunteer with. We go into schools and give workshops to parents, teachers, and students, about a wide range of learning differences, and how to help students with them. If you want us to come to your child's school drop us an email to info@totkomail.org and we will see what we can do.

If you are a mum who needs a bit of help with something in particular, please get in touch. I'll do my best to help you, or to put you in touch with someone who can. You can leave me a comment here, or send an email  to sarah@dysbooks.co.uk, and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

(I love you mum, you always said you hoped one day I'd give something back, well, I'm just getting started...happy Mothers Day).

Mentoring

I had a great meeting in London today, about a mentoring program for students and graduates with learning differences. It seems as though the project has a real chance of coming together soon, and helping a lot of people.

I can't say too much about the project, as it is still evolving, and taking shape, but the main hope is to help people with learning differences progress within creative industries.

I want this to be fun, and as much about having a sense of community as about career progression. I also want to make sure we are providing something that students with learning differences really want and will benefit from, or there is obviously no point.

To this end, I'd love to know people's thoughts and feeling about this.

Is this something that would interest you as a student, graduate, or creative freelancer? What sort of support would you like from a mentoring scheme? (We have discussed talks from people with learning differences who have successful careers in creative industries, business advice, networking opportunities, and help with self awareness). But what would you want from something like this?

Eighteen year old me, taken just before I started university. I'm climbing somewhere I probably shouldn't, and at the time I was worried I was doing the same by going after a degree so focused on reading and writing.  In both cases, I just went for it, and everything turned out alright, though I didn't realize this was going to happen until I was half way up. 

For me, I know I would have been interested. I felt scared when I started my degree, and wasn't sure if I could handle it. I know talking to someone who had already completed a degree like mine (English, American Studies, and Creative Writing) would have really helped, and I'd have really enjoyed hanging out with people who understood what it was like to be a bit different, and to have to work a bit harder. Yet, not all mentoring schemes have a huge uptake. My old university trialed a scheme for dyslexic students in one department, and when I heard about it, they were having trouble finding people who wanted to be mentored (though this might have changed as it progressed).

I have theories about why this might be, but the only way to find out if this project can work, and to make it work, is to make sure it's giving people with learning differences things they see to be of real value.

I'm not just collecting views on this blog, but the more feedback I can get, the better this project will be, so your comments really are appreciated.

World Book Day

All this week I have been talking to parents about costumes their children can wear for World Book Day, particularly which costume would be the easiest to make while it still being clear that their child had dressed up. I'm more used to being asked about which book would be best for an eight year old girl who adores ponies, or for books for school projects, so it made for an enjoyable change of pace.

I recommended Harry Potter a lot; put on some glasses (they can easily be made from card), draw on  a lightning bolt scar, and like magic, you have a instantly recognizable costume.

The most low effort costume I personally ever used for World Book Day was Harmony from The Queen's Nose. I wore my normal clothes all day, but made sure to carry around a 50p, which I could present if questioned about my identity. In a previous year I had come dressed as Jasmine from Aladdin, which while I looked good,  turned out to be too cold to wear comfortably outside. I was not making that mistake again.

But what is World Book Day? Is it just an excuse for children to dress up?

World Book Day is about getting children reading and enjoying books (something I'm also very passionate about). World Book Day itself, describes it as a 'celebration of reading'. It's not just isolated to the UK, as the name implies, it's an international event.

Every year official World Book Day books are released, which cost £1.00. They are free with a World Book Day token, which are given to children through schools. Alternatively, the tokens can be used to get a £1.00 discount on other books (including audio books). Most Primary School children get the tokens, as do some younger children through a Nursery, and some older children through Secondary Schools.

This years World Book Day books are:

• Tony Robinson’s Weird World of Wonders: Funny Inventions - by Tony Robinson and Del Thorpe
• Horrid Henry’s Guide to Perfect Parents - by Francesca Simon and Tony Ross 
• The Diamond Brothers in…Two of Diamonds - by Anthony Horowitz
• Hang In There Bozo - by Lauren Child
• Tom Gates: Best Book Day Ever! (so far) - by Liz Pichon
• The Chocolate Box Girls: Bittersweet - by Cathy Cassid
• Giraffes Can’t Dance Colouring and Puzzle Fun - by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Ree

and my personal favorite,

• Alfie's Shop - by Shirley Hughes

You might notice this year there are no offerings for teenagers. To fill this gap Waterstones has teamed up with publisher S & S Children's, to selling two of their books for young adults for £1.00; The Hunt - by Andrew Fukuda, and Girl, Missing - by Sophie McKenzie.

They are not part of the official World Book Day selection, or associated at all with World Book Day. They just cost the right amount to be bought with the £1.00 World Book Day tokens.

But World Book Day isn't just about selling books, schools, bookshops, and libraries, are also encouraged to host events that celebrate reading in the lead up to, on, and after World Book Day. In the bookstore where I work I have run several of these events. Every Sunday I read at a children's Story Time, and I have added in some coloring and craft activities to these. I sourced stickers to give away, along with official activity sheets for different books, and series. I organised a bigger event day during half term, which involved finding characters I had made and hidden among the books in our children's section. I blew up and tied so many balloons to give out as part of the prizes, my fingers were stained the same color as the balloons! The year before I painted children's cheeks and hands with little books and flowers, as part of one of the events.

These sort of events are hard work, but it's so rewarding to see children and enjoying themselves, and talking to them about the books they love, and who their favorite characters are. I volunteered to do something similar for a summer reading scheme with my local library. I was in my teens at the time, and I knew then I wanted to do more things to help more children to become enthusiastic about books.

You can look up events in your area here: http://www.worldbookday.com/events/

What has this got to do with dyslexia?

If I didn't love books, then going through the trial of learning to read wouldn't have appealed to me half as much. To get over those extra barriers to literacy, dyslexic children need to want to read for themselves, for joy as much as for academics, or to make adults happy, especially when they are young and might not realise how important being able to read is.

Things like World Book Day and World Book Day events help get children enthused about reading...they help provide that motivation, the extra spark of interest, that will help dyslexic children endure and overcome their struggles with reading. To me, it doesn't get much more relevant than that.