Dyslexia and Mums

It's not easy being a mum, but when your child is struggling at school it is even more difficult. Mums often take the brunt of the emotional issues this can cause for their children, and the worry about their future. That isn't to say that dads aren't important too, and there are many dads who take a very active roles in their children's school lives, but today is Mother's Day, so I'm going to be focusing on mums.

My mum was the driving force behind my academic successes. Without her and my maternal grandmother, I honestly do not know where I would be now. Today I read The King of Space and The Mummy Shop to a group of young children at the bookshop where I work when not focusing on my writing, or on trying to help people who have learning differences, and those who support them.  I helped the children draw Mumbots, like those in one of the books, and helped them write down the best things about their mums underneath their pictures. I got to tell a mother and her dyslexic daughter that I am dyslexic, and I have a degree in English and Creative Writing, and where they could go to get help with testing for colored lenses. I can't express how much I love doing all these things, and to be unable to is almost unthinkable, yet there was a time when none of this seemed possible.  My mother was told I would struggle with Secondary School, University wasn't even contemplated, and no one had any idea what sort of job I could do.

Me and my mum, just look at those battle weary eyes. Bringing me up was not easy, and not just because of my dyslexia!  (shhh...mum, you look fine, not sure about my hair, though).

I remember the surprise and joy when I got my AS results in Six Form. My mum said that was when she realised that I could actually go to University, that all the effort and tears had been worth it. I felt rather affronted, as I never doubted I would go. My mum had always told me to just do my best, and she would sort everything else out with whatever school I was at, and I knew my best was better than most people expected, especially my teachers. I remember my mum crying when I got my GCSE results, because I got two As for English, and my grandmother who had taken me to my dyslexia tuition twice a week, and retrained as a special needs teacher to support me and my dyslexic cousin, had passed away just before my exams.

I remember my mum pulling me out from under the bed so I would go to school, all the nights she stayed up late writing letters, and acting as a scribe for me so I could complete my school projects by the same deadlines as everyone else. I remember her driving to my school in her lunch break in the response to a panicked phone call saying I had forgotten my PE kit, AGAIN, and might get detention this time...

It didn't sink in until I graduated how much my mother and grandmother had done for me. It's not that I wasn't grateful when they were supporting me through school, it's just that moment really brought it home. Yes, I had earned my degree through my hard work and dedication, but there had been a team of people behind me, ready to catch me when I tripped, to fight my corner when it needed fighting, and who gave me the strength to fight for myself. I almost felt like I needed to give a speech, as though I was accepting an Oscar, it just felt right that I should be thanking all the people who helped me get to that point, my voice breaking with emotion as I finally turned towards my mother, a knowing smile on my face...saying more than words ever could about what she'd been through. We had to settle for a hug afterwards.

I want my gift to mothers this Mother's Day to be the knowledge things do get better. There can be some very hard times when trying to support your dyslexic child, it can be a shock that more is not automatically done for children who learn differently, and there can be the fear for your child's future battling with reassurances  from your child's teacher that 'sometimes children just take a bit longer to catch up' or the fear of being a pushy parent. If this is you, remember, you know your child better than anyone. Listen to your gut feeling, and don't be afraid to look for support, there is lots of it out there, you just need to look in the right places, and ask the right questions.

Here are some resources for mums who want to help their dyslexic children:

www.beingdyslexic.co.uk - a great place to get support from other parents, professionals, and adult dyslexics. I post here regularly as BubblewrapPrincess.

www.dysbooks.com/Pages/LearningDifficultiesReadingList.aspx - some of the books I recommend to parents of dyslexics, or those wondering if their child has a learning difference. The survival guide is especially helpful.

www.dysbooks.com/Pages/ChildrensBooks.aspx - a guide I have written on finding books suitable for dyslexic readers, with links to great resources to help find books dyslexic children can both read and enjoy.

www.totko.org - an organisation I volunteer with. We go into schools and give workshops to parents, teachers, and students, about a wide range of learning differences, and how to help students with them. If you want us to come to your child's school drop us an email to info@totkomail.org and we will see what we can do.

If you are a mum who needs a bit of help with something in particular, please get in touch. I'll do my best to help you, or to put you in touch with someone who can. You can leave me a comment here, or send an email  to sarah@dysbooks.co.uk, and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

(I love you mum, you always said you hoped one day I'd give something back, well, I'm just getting started...happy Mothers Day).