Hibernation, fresh starts, and all the things I owe...

I feel like I have been off my usual social media and blogging, having disappeared into the fog of my offline life for...a lot longer than it has actually been.

I feel like I have been hiding, or in hibernation...But, hey, I'm back, nice to be writing for you all (whoever you might be, do say hi) once more.

I've needed some time to recover from The Dyslexics in the Bookshop Event (which went really well), and I have had a lot of things I have needed to attend to. The biggest thing being that my best friend has been going through a horrible time, which I won't go into detail about because it's her personal stuff, but, I dropped a lot of things to be there for her. Oh, and I had flu, so I slept on our sofa bed a lot due to my awful snoring, and I spent half of one day just laying on my bathroom floor on a pile of towels, while the cat meowed at me to get up and give her some love, or food, or something.

It's a hard life.

If you somehow haven't noticed, it's also peek trading time, and I work in retail. Well, I did work in retail. One of the things I was doing during my long silence was quitting my job. I am no longer a Bookseller, which is actually really freeing. I was in that job for five years, and it was good to me in a lot of ways, but it was time to go. I walked down to the train station that last time, in the dark, under the Christmas lights of this boutiquey side road. I stopped for a moment, because those lights were exciting and magical. I breathed in the tingling cold, and felt like this tight binding I hadn't known I was wearing was unraveling behind me. When I started walking again I imagined it as an unfurling red ribbon, unraveling more and more with each step from around my body, until it blew away entirely, swirling into the night.

I feel really relaxed, and free, and my house is really tidy, which hardly ever happens, and then not for very long because, you know, I'm dyslexic. I feel dyslexia and mess, or at least creative clutter go together - but I've hit that mystical point where it's tidy, and clean, but where I can still find all my stuff. My house also smells like this amazing strawberry spray, that doesn't really smell anything like strawberries, but still somehow smells fresh, and sweet, and delicious.

okay, there are still a lot of books, everywhere, but is that honestly such a bad thing?

Because I'm not working at the bookshop doing the usual overtime, where I spend most of what would be left over after bills and food on the extra travel, and then presents, and am totally broke until January when I get a sudden influx of funds...I have a bit of actual money this Christmas. I can see my friends, and my family, and do Fun Stuff.

I feel good about me, and my life as it is, and as it might be. I don't often get that all at once so I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

I am not completely unemployed as I am working two days a week at an internship, so there's still some structure to my days, and leaving my other job isn't as scary. I will still have money coming in, but I am looking for something else, something full time and more permanent. If you know of something or someone who is hiring then it would be great if you could let me know. I've no set idea about what I'm looking for, but creativity, books/writing, marketing, and causes are where my interest and skills generally lay.

I have a lot of decisions to make, like if I am actually going to take the huge step (or so it feels) of applying to drama schools, or if I just want a Career, career of the sort my parents wanted for me, and to do my own creative stuff on the side...writing, drama group, dyslexia stuff...whatever, which is kind of what I have been doing, accept my parents never thought of Bookselling as a career.

Me, acting, via the talented Mike Cartwright

One of the nicest things about leaving my job is that someone who came to my dyslexia event applied for a job at the bookshop, my job really, and I think they are being taken on. They are a dyslexic young woman, so there's this great sense of something beginning within that ending, for someone else. I hope they get the position and enjoy it as much as I did, when I was new there, with no idea what I was doing.

I still don't know what I am doing, not exactly, but I'm more okay with that now. I'm not trying to find out as aggressively, I'm letting myself explore, just in case there is something even more wonderful and exciting out there, in the world.

I still owe you all a blog about the event, ahhhh...I owe audiobook reviews, and filmed reviews, and all sorts of things, but I am getting back to work on it all. I just needed some time to breath and figure some things out. 

Dyslexia Awareness Week

It's here, Dyslexia Awareness Week starts today, Monday 3rd November, and will end Sunday 9th November.

This years theme, according to the BDA (British Dyslexia Association) and Dyslexia Action, is 'Dyslexia Matters.' The charities both want you to tell them, and the wider world, why dyslexia matters...to you, and in general.

There will be lots of events going on to boost awareness, not just about the existence of dyslexia, but about what it actually means to real people. I've done my best to collect as many of these events as I can find together for this blog, to make it easier for people to look up what is going on.

If you have an event or know of one I haven't listened, then get in touch and I'll include it.

Putting events on the list doesn't mean I endorse them, or have involvement with them, I'm just sharing what is happening. The information here is correct to the best of my knowledge (do tell me if it isn't), but responsibility ultimately lies with the event organisers as I'm just taking the information they've put online themselves and reproducing it here...Now that min-disclaimer is out of the way, I give you, The List.

Click the links for more information.


Monday November 3rd

London, England:

Technology for Dyslexia - 2.00pm-4.00pm
A free workshop about the best technology to address common dyslexic difficulties.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Understanding Dyslexia, with Dr David McLoughlin - 6.30pm-8.30pm
A free seminar about the nature of dyslexia by dyslexia expert Dr David McLoughlin.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Staffordshire, England:

Exhibition - Start and End Time Not Listed.
A exhibition of the talents and creations of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

Perth and Kinross, Scotland:

Dyslexia Scotland Talk - 7.00pm
Fran Ranaldi, Perth and Kinross Counsel, will be talking about Education Scotland's 'Making Sense: education for children and young people with dyslexia in Scotland,' report.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland


Tuesday November 4th 

Bath, England:

Open Morning - 9.30am-11.30pm
Dyslexia Action Bath will be hosting an open morning and discussions with the center principle.
Information via Dyslexia Action

London, England:

Dyslexia and Entrepreneurship - 12.00pm-5.00pm
A free event about entrepreneurship with the BDA and mentoring charity Good Story.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Staffordshire, England:

Exhibition - Start and End Time Not Listed.
A exhibition of the talents and creations of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

Glasgow, Scotland:

What is Meares-Irlen talk - 7.15pm
A talk about the nature of Meares-Irlen Syndrome.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland

Lanarkshire, Scotland:

Dyslexia Scotland Planning Meeting - 7.30pm
Comment on how you think Dyslexia Scotland should address future strategic planning.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland

Lochaber, Scotland:

'Dyslexia Matters' Discussion - 7.00pm
Discuss why 'Dyslexia Matters,' and the support available from Dyslexia Scotland's Lochaber branch.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland


Wednesday November 5th 

London, England:

Arts and Literacy - 12.00pm-5.00pm
A free workshop featuring dyslexic artists and their work, in collaboration with the BDA.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Competition Showcase - 6.30pm-8.45pm
See the shortlisted entries for The BDA annual Dyslexia Awareness Week completions for artists, inventors, and writers. The winners will be announced at the showcase.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Staffordshire, England:

Exhibition - Start and End Time Not Listed.
A exhibition of the talents and creations of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

West Lothain, Scotland:

Dyslexic Adults Event - 7.00pm
An event focusing on dyslexic adults.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland.


Thursday November 6th 

London, England:

Enabling Children with Dyslexia to Succeed - 11.00am-12.00pm
A free workshop in collaboration with Dyslexia SpLD Trust which will provide information on supporting dyslexic children for parents, and educators.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Dyslexia at Work -2.00pm-4.00pm
A free workshop for dyslexic people employed outside of large office based corporations, about the sort of support available, and dyslexia friendly employers.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Authors Evening - 6.00pm-8.00pm
A BDA and Bloomsbury Institute event featuring award winning dyslexic writer Sally Gardener and children's author and illustrator Tom Mclaughlin. They will be giving readings and taking part in a Q and A session. They will discuss possitive aspects of dyslexia, and it's impact on their work.
This is a charged event, tickets required.
Information via The BDA.

Essex, England:

What is Dyslexia? - 7.30pm
Presentation and video screening. There will be a small charge for this event. Refreshments included.
Information via Essex Dyslexia Support Group

Staffordshire, England:

Exhibition - Start and End Time Not Listed.
A exhibition of the talents and creations of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

Tonbridge, England:

Awareness Evening - 7.00pm-9.00pm
Free advice and information about dyslexia from Dyslexia Action Tonbridge.
Information via Dyslexia Action

Borders, Scotland:

Dyslexia and Education - 7.00pm
I'm assuming this is some sort of talk, but it's not clear what exactly this is, only that there will be updates of some sort on dyslexia and education, on both a national and local level.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland.

Forth Valley, Scotland:

Dyslexia Friendly Schools - 7.00pm
A talk by Margret Crankshaw.
Information vis Dyslexia Scotland.

Glasgow, Scotland:

Paul McNeil of Scottish Association Football - 7.00pm
Paul McNeil of Scottish Association Football will be doing or saying something. It is unclear exactly what the nature of the event will be, but he will be there.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland

West Lothain, Scotland:

Comic Drawing Talk and Workshop - 6.00pm
Malcy Duff will be talking about his work as a comic book illustrator and will be offering the chance to create your own artwork.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland.



Friday November 7th

Online:

Live Social Media Chat - No Start or End Time Listed
Talk with The BDA National Helpline Manager about dyslexia, and ask them your questions.
Information via The BDA

London, England:

Coffee Morning - 10.00am-12.00pm
A relaxed morning with refreshments, and an arts table for children.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of Bexley, Bromley, Greenwich and Lewisham.

Technology for Dyslexia - 12.00pm-2.00pm
A free workshop about the best technology to address common dyslexic difficulties.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Dyslexia Behind Bars - 2.00pm -4.15pm
Free seminar from The Cascade Foundation, who work with dyslexia offenders. The seminar will focus on dyslexia in prison and the work they are doing to tackle this, and to prevent re-offending via appropriate education and support. Dyslexic ex-offenders will be talking at the seminar.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London

Reception and Celebration - 5.30pm-7.30pm
Celebrate the re-launch of The Dyslexia Association of London, and the events they have been involved with this year for Dyslexia Awareness Week.
Information via The Dyslexia Association of London.

Staffordshire, England:

Exhibition - Start and End Time Not Listed.
A exhibition of the talents and creations of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

Variety Show - 7.00pm
A celebration of the  talents of dyslexic people of all ages.
Information via dig-it.

West Lothan, Scotland:

Dyslexia Cafe - 2.00pm
The launch of a regular drop in event.
Information via Dyslexia Scotland


Saturday November 8th

London, England:

The International Festival of Dyslexic Culture - 9.30am-5.00pm
A festival celebrating dyslexic creativity and achievements.
Information via The International Festival of Dyslexic Culture.

Essex, England:

Children and Parents Dyslexia Event -10.00am-12.00pm
An event for dyslexic children and their parents involving information about positive aspects of dyslexia, information about famous dyslexics, and an art competition.
Information via Essex Dyslexia Support Group

Dyslexia Awareness Event -12.00pm-2.00pm
A children's dyslexia awareness event with a coloring competition and a give away.
Author J.D Irwin will be attending.
Information via Frog and Chicken Bookshop


Sunday November 9th

Essex, England:

Dyslexics in the Bookshop - 4.30pm-6.00pm
Dyslexic writers will be invading Waterstones Brentwood for talks about dyslexia and writing, board games, refreshments, a prize draw to win some brilliant books, and a Victorian photobooth. The event is suitable for all ages, and you don't have to be dyslexic to come. Victorian attire encouraged, but not mandatory. The event is free to attend.
Information via Dysbooks (aka me; this is my event, you should come)

You can find out more about my event here. If you have an event you'd like me to add then please let me know. 

The Gothic Imagination

I have an amazing best friend who decided to whisk me off to The British Library today to see the exhibition  Terror and Wonder: The Gothic Imagination.

 Dracula, you seductive, beckoning rouge, you.
Also, really need to find the belt that goes with this coat.

Oh, and for the shop, she was very keen on visiting the gift shop. There were moments where I wondered if she was more interested in this than the actual exhibition items. Myself, I could not stop smiling like a child at Disneyland.

I can't say I was terrified, but I did feel the wonder.

Genuine, Victorian, vampire, slaying, kit. 

While I definitely have known for a long time that I like gothic literature and film I didn't realise quite how much until today. It was a bit like a tour of my dream book collection, and I owned or had read (I'm including audiobooks) a great deal of the books on show. Others, I was aware of from my degree, I had written essays on these books...and the illustrations...the play posters, the clip of Neil Gaiman which I pointed out and was told by my friend, immediately;

'Will you stop talking about Neil Gaiman.'

'But, but I love Neil Gaiman.'

'You do not love Neil Gaiman, you have never met Neil Gaiman.'

'I love his books.'

Which to me, might as well be the same thing.

I might have done a bit of a dance when I saw these and A Series of Unfortunate Events in the same display cabinet, which is a bit strange, as I don't do this when I see them together on my bookshelves. 

I was the only person taking photographs, I checked very carefully for signs which might forbid this, but there were no signs. I'm just a huge book geek.

Okay, so more than just a book geek, there were film posters, too. I spent a lot of my childhood watching black and white monster movies. I have a deep appreciation for Hammer Horror, and women in white nightdresses running screaming into the night, for all my beliefs in feminism. When first getting to know with my best friend I explained how as a child I wanted to be Claudette from the film An Interview with the Vampire, or Wednesday Adams (who I dressed as a few times for Halloween). One of the reasons we are such good friends is that she did not find this odd.

My cousins and I used to come up with plays based on horror and scifi movies. Often, they'd involve werewolves. My cousin Bryony was big on werewolves, and had an imaginary friend who was one, and who lived in her wardrobe, and under her bed (he eat the unfriendly monsters). Like me, she is dyslexic, and we'd force our creative vision for a werewolf musical onto our non-dyslexic siblings.

The Book of Werewolves

I recall making an old tissue box into a werewolf muzzel for Bryony to wear when she transformed, or when my grandmother's dog was not up to the challenge of a dance number. Heather, the youngest, who I am sure didn't understand what was going on, used to dress up in my grandmother's old white nightdress, cover her face in her old lipstick (because she was too young to be able to just put in on her lips), and then Bryony and I would say she had to put ketchup on her hands and rub them on my grandparent's summer house, which she was hesitant to do, even though it was for art.

Eventually, I saved up for a video camera, and we started playing games were we ran a film company, called, 'Me, Bryony, Heather, and You,' the you being my brother Alex, and the me being, well, me.

We made our own posters, wrote scripts (which we never followed), designed costumes (that we couldn't make), and had a wonderful time running about in the local woods, screaming and giggling.

Bryony said she wanted to be a horror movie director when she grew up, I wanted to write books were terrible, supernatural things, happened.

I'm the one at the back, with the stick.

Sadly, the only surviving relics of our exploits are from our radio wing (we decided to try to record a fake radio show so convincing we could put it on and our parents would think it was real. - It didn't work, although it does include Heather discribing a make up you rub on both your face and arms, after screaming she was old enough to make up a commercial), and the unfinished future cult classic, Killer Pound Monster; which my dvd cover tells me is 'never coming to a cinema near you,' and that it is the winner of  9 'acedemie' awards.

All the film posters brought back the most wonderful memories of these times together, as well as with my mother.

So many incredible things are happening in this poster.

My mother's bedtime stories were often re-tellings of films based on Stephen King novels.

My favorite bed time reads to listen to were the origional Brother's Grimm and Hans Christan Anderson tales, which other students in my Victorian literature module at university found quite strange, especially when I said, 'when I was young the original Little Mermaid was my favorite, where she feels knives in her feet when she walks and commits suicide at the end, but it's sort of a happy ending because she doesn't murder anyone, and God grants her a soul.'

Let's not get into The Book of Gypsy Folk Tales, where there are devils living in trees, and werewolf princesses (arguably, the best sort of princess).

I love everything about this poster, especially that my guide to the exhibit opens out into it.

Perhaps I sound quite ghoulish, but this background in gothic stories, horror, scifi, fantasy...they have made me who I am, and I rather like who I am. They are part of why I love books so much, stories, generally.

To this day, the greatest peice of writing criticism/praise I have ever had is from an ex-creative writing tutor who said;

'You don't read Stephen King do you? Because you write a lot like him.'

She was relived when I said I had not. I had been forbidden to read his books, once I learnt to read and I was reading everything I could find. My mother only read books by Stephen King and regency romances. I was banned from reading his books because of the swearing, I knew most of the plots.

I didn't tell her that.

If you are after some dark and delightful reads for Halloween my recommended audiobooks for October are out via The Codpast, in both audio and written form.

Terror and Wonder; The Gothic Imagination will run until 20th Jan 2015, at The British Library. 

The Codpast Reviews

In addition to the dyslexia event I have been working on (and that I have been losing sleep over - what if not enough people come, or more people than I thought? What if I let everyone down? I must take more caffeine and manically publicize it EVERYWHERE, I must list all the places where I am doing this, oh I really do need to sleep, it's happening and I can't help it), I've been writing some reviews for a dyslexia podcast, called The Codpast.

The Codpast has a blog, too, and it's really inspiring. When I heard about it I had to ask if I could get involved. It seemed super creative and talented Sean Douglas, who is The Codpast's chief dyslexic, had a similar idea. We began hatching a plan to come up with something I could do to add to the Codpast, while also contributing to my goal of doing things for dyslexics involving literacy.

We came up with these reviews. They are a bit different to what I'd normally do as they are specifically for audiobooks, but still with a dyslexic focus. Oh, and I have recorded myself saying them.

This, was not as easy as I originally planned.

I was going to just write a blog, but I thought with modern technology, (specifically the free audio recording and editing program Audacity), I could arrange it so the reviews were recorded. I thought this would be great, as they were for people who liked taking information in via listening instead of reading words off a page.

I'd used Audacity to record audio to add audio to the Dysbooks website (which desperately needs updating, oh where does all my time go, or right, on things like this blog), this worked fine. I'd also listened to my boyfriend record loads of things using it. I thought it'd be quick and easy.

And so the battle between myself and my boyfriend's laptop began. I couldn't use mine because I don't have the right ports for the headset I was using. His laptop is old, but it is compatible, however, the age of the laptop might have been the key issue. I couldn't get the program to open, then to record properly, initially at all, and then I couldn't get it to stop. There was a point where the laptop just blue screened, and I lost everything I had been working on.

Yet, I believed in my goal. I finally got a full recording, saved it, and got it sent off to Sean. He did some magical things with it and sent me back an edited version, complete with music, and other much needed embellishments. However, the audio quality of the mic I'd used wasn't great, to put it mildly. This became really apparent when edited together with cleaner and sharper audio.

Human, what are you doing? 

Sean asked me about how I had recorded the reviews, and made a suggestion; That I record the audio using my phone while under a duvet. That was what I did, much to the bemusement of my cat, who didn't seem to understand why I was saying the same thing in as close to the same way as possible over and over into my phone, while apparently hiding under the bedclothes.

It was hard to listen to the audio on my phone so I sent copies to my laptop. Which was when I discovered that while they were much clearer and crisper then the other recordings there was electronic interference in all of them from some unknown device.

This time I have had a go at editing together two different audio files using Audacity on my laptop, and sent them off to Sean, I am hoping I have finally, finally got something that will be suitable for The Codpast.

Phew...this reviewing thing is hard work.

If you haven't already, follow The Codpast on twitter and like it on facebook, you wont be disappointed. 

Dyslexics in the Bookshop

Okay, so I was trying to hold off telling everyone about this until I was able to get a blog up, but I just couldn't help myself. If you follow dysbooks on facebook or twitter, chances are you'll already be aware of what I have planned.

Essentially, it's a party in a bookshop, tied into Dyslexia Awareness Week. - This is what it sounds like, a week were people involved with dyslexia try to spread more accurate information and awareness about what dyslexia actually is, and how it affects real people. It runs from the 3rd November to the 9th November.

It's pretty cool, and there are lots of great events planned for this year. I'm going to make a list of events to share with everyone about all the great things everyone has scheduled, so do let me know if you have an event of your own you'd like me to include.

For now, though, a bit about mine, and how I ended up deciding to put something together.

This November a book I have helped to edit for specialist publisher RASP is coming out. It's an anthology of writing by dyslexic authors. One of my short stories will be in it. This, is super exciting. It will be launched on Saturday 8th November at The International Festival of Dyslexic Culture. However, I can't make it, which is a huge shame as I'd love to be there and to have the chance to congratulate the other authors, and everyone else involved in the book's creation.

I've also wanted to meet dyslexic author Rod Duncan for years. I've only ever communicated with him via the internet, but he's a very nice chap and I consider him a friend. He even helped me out with issues I had when studying at University, where he very kindly looked over a piece of work my tutor had termed 'ungradable,' and gave some invaluable feedback (it turned out it could, in fact, be graded and I ended up doing quite well). I think this is a remarkable thing for a professional writer to offer to do, although please don't now go flooding Rod with requests for help with your work. He's busy writing the next book in a series I am reading, and I'd rather he wasn't too distracted from writing it; Otherwise, I might have to wait longer to get a copy.

His latest book, The Bullet-Catcher's Daughter came out not that long ago, and not only is it a great read, I think it has a fabulous cover, which perfectly reflects the book itself (this is one of the books featured in dysbooks soon-to-be-uploaded video reviews).

He's actually in my part of the country for the weekend part of  Dyslexia Awareness Week, and I said if he was ever down my way I'd see if I could do an event for him in the little bookshop I work at.

It all just seemed to fit together perfectly.

I couldn't find anything linked to Dyslexia Awareness Week scheduled for Sunday 9th November, and Sundays tend to be great days to pitch events to the bookshop I work at, as Sundays tend to be a bit quieter, so staff have more time to focus on this sort of thing without it causing disruption to the day to day operations of the store.

I began getting some ideas together for other fun things to tie into the event, and had loads of offers of support and helpful comments as I mentioned my idea to people. One person I spoke to about it told me they had a dyslexic niece, which I had never known before, and they said they thought a celebration like the one I had planned, in a bookshop, with dyslexic writers, sounded incredibly powerful. They said there was something about dyslexics being together in a bookshop, publicly talking about success related to literacy, that really challenged stigma and misinformation, and that could provide hope and inspiration to others.

I thought about my childhood self, and my teenage self, and the adult me, what attending an event like this would have meant at these different points in my life.

Yeah, I thought, yeah, that's what I want this event to do. I want this to be a fun, and really inclusive event, a general celebration of dyslexics who write, for fun or professionally, where kids with dyslexia and their parents can come along, and stand side to side with dyslexic adults, and non-dyslexics, too. One of the things I wrote in my 'Editor's Note' for the anthology was about how dyslexic people didn't have many platforms to use to tell their stories, and I hope this event will be another platform. It's not about preaching, not at all, it's about sharing something of value with others, perhaps those who need it most.

I hope to see you there, and to share my story with you. To celebrate breaking down barriers to mutual understanding, and to provide something different for people to enjoy, and think about.

You can find out more about the Dyslexics in the Bookshop event and register you attendance here.

Dysbooks Filming

I have been wanting to film some book reviews for a long time. I have stacks of books I have read  waiting for this treatment, but I got busy with editing The Book, which is launched this November at The Festival of Dyslexic Culture. - Which sounds awesome, and a bit posh. I suppose it's the culture part, it brings images to mind of people sipping tea, all these non-conformist dyslexics, maybe one with a punk-pink Mohawk?

I don't know, that thought just amuses me. I like tea out of fancy cups, so why not?

I doubt there will be any tea drinking at the festival, but I like the idea of some sort of dyslexia and afternoon tea combination. I think it would be a wonderful way to spend time and to get to know fellow dyslexics, and if no one showed up, well, more cucumber sandwiches and scones for me.

I'm honestly tempted to pitch that to the London Meet Up Group  for dyslexics (is it two groups now, three?) that I hang about on the fringes of, I haven't been in so long, for a while I couldn't afford the travel into London, and then I was so busy...not just with the book. Now I'm settled again and some how all the pieces that were up in the air seem to have fallen down in the right places.

Life is strange like that. It can randomly do things to you to mess you up, and then as if it's flipped a coin, it can as easily come out alright. But I'm woffling, I'm meant to be telling you about the filming, which took place earlier in the week.

We decided the set would be my conservatory (by which I mean myself and my lovely friend Laura), There's a white wall in there that seemed a sensible backdrop, and I'd written up the reviews and used a sand timer to check the length. I was working all weekend, so I was tired, and had no time to properly learn what I had written, so I wasn't sure how well I was going to do.

Laura has some very fancy filming equipment, and I was also worried I or my cat would end up breaking something delicate, or valuable, most likely both. We shut the cat out and I gathered together the books I was going to be using. I have so many books, and because I have to organise them at work I do my own randomised thing at home, so finding them all was not as easy as it should have been. Luckily, I'd vaguely themed them by subject or genre.

I carfully set up a little pile of titles behind where I was going to sit so they would be in the shot, including two by dyslexic writer Blake Charlton (who is awesomely inspiring, and not just because he's a bestselling author). I didn't think I was going to have time to do a review of his books, but I liked the idea of them being there. I wanted to get a teapot in the shot, too, but Laura laughed, and said it looked like it was coming out of my head, so that got shifted out of the way rather quickly.

I was temped to dress up for the first review, which is of The Bullet-Catchers Daughter, by dyslexic writer Rod Duncan. I'd found a look already, but it seemed a lot of work considering most of the outfit wouldn't be seen in the shot, and I had to wear a little clip on microphone, like a newsreader, and I wasn't sure how that would work with the corset.

Looking into the camera was really intimidating, and then there was a directional microphone sitting on top of that, which looked a bit like a gun, and a free standing light which made me blink. I felt like I was about to make a total fool of myself in front of Laura. I swiftly re-read my review; out-loud as I remember things I hear better than things I just read. I have an odd way of getting lines or speeches to stick if I say them to myself, or hear someone else say them. This has never made sense to me as my short term memory is incredibly bad, and I often forget what people say right after they've said it.

This worked, and I said the whole thing back to myself while Laura was out of the room for a moment. When she returned, up went the little filming clipboard in front of the camera, when it went down I started talking; and messed up almost right away. I apologised, we started over, I messed up again without getting any further. I was starting to wonder how much of Laura's time I was going to waste. Then she suggested I count to five before I went into the review, and I got almost all the way to the end without making a mistake or loosing the words. She said if I messed up again to keep going as she could cut certain mistakes out in editing. Moments later we were done, and I was able to watch myself back.

The huge pauses I'd imagined weren't that huge, though I sounded very posh and British to my own ears. I wasn't sure I liked my teeth, and my hair was too long, but I thought the review was at least semi-coherent.

We moved on to the next one, which is aimed at parents of dyslexic kids, and going to cover several books on dyslexia which I think are especially helpful. Knowing I was judging myself too harshly helped, and I was able to launch into the review with only a few odd stutters, or moments when I wondered about the gibberish coming out of my mouth. I had to start a section over, but it came out pretty well, we watched that back and that was it, done.

I really hope people like the reviews, and find them helpful, but even if nothing else comes of it, I really enjoyed seeing Laura and working on something creative with her again, like we used to back when we were in school.

It was worth it just for that.

Finally finished

Well, the wonderful RASP anthology I have been editing has been passed on for the next stage of its development. It didn’t feel like a big deal until I began mentioning it to other people, and they got excited and asked me what it would be called, and when it would be out.

This surprised me, because my family aren’t excited about it at all. Other people getting excited gave me permission to get excited myself, not just for me, but for all the writers who will be included.

It’s going to be called Everything is Spherical, which is a change from the original title (and theme) of disobedience. This simply ended up fitting better, and provided a wider scope. It’s going to be published, uh…soon.

All of us at RASP work on a voluntary basis from home, so it’s hard to give an exact date right now. When I know, I’ll be shouting about it to anyone who will listen.

In addition to being a first time editor I’ve also got the strange experience of having one of my own short stories included in the anthology. It felt too cheeky to simply slip it in, and I wasn’t sure it fit the previous theme, so I passed it on to my fellow editor Nim to vet.

She put it in.

What that means, and it’s taken a while for me to realise this, is that I’ll be published.

Oh, that hair, that T-shirt...Why did no one step in to save me from myself?

Me, the dyslexic girl they said would never be able to read or write, or do anything much.

It’s going to take a while for me to believe it’s really going to happen. That this moment I have been working towards for so much of my life might not be that far away.

Me, outside the flat I lived in during my last year of university. 

My story is called Webs, and it’s about connections, and dyslexia, in part. It’s also about me; trying to make sense of myself and my own narrative after a really rough set of experiences in my last year of university.

It’s only semi-biographical, because I’ve simplified things here and there, made a few alterations to make it a better story, but it’s is different to what I normally write. I prefer to write about other people, and mystical, magical, otherworldly things.

Some stories, however, just need to be told. I remember grabbing a pen and some old note paper and it all just poured out of me and onto the page.

I’ve been hanging onto this story for ages, and I only put it forward as an afterthought. A friend of mine thought I should, and he passed away earlier this year. I was thinking about him, and this gave me the guts to do it.

My friend.

His name is David Stimson, and he was a very kind, and very geeky bookseller. He was included in the acknowledgments for helping with the research for a book once, which he was so proud of, but they spelt his name wrong. That always felt so sad to me, that they didn’t get his name right, and he didn’t get to publish anything of his own. I’ve made sure to spell it properly here.

It’s funny, the things that stay with you when you lose someone.

I suppose this is my acknowledgment to him, in a way. A thank you for encouraging me, and for introducing me to so many brilliant fantasy books.

I think he’d be really happy for me, and for the other writer’s, too. They each have their own story behind the ones in the anthology. Their own troubles and triumphs that have lead them to this point.

I’m excited for all of us.

This is a big deal, and maybe that’s why I can’t totally let myself believe it yet? That in a short while each of us will be able to hold this longed for book in our hands.